Show me the supplements!

I'll be honest with you.

I am not very good at willpower or denial or any of that rubbish. In my effort to lose 20lbs as rapidly as possible, I want there to be as little EFFORT involved as possible.

This is one of the reasons why I think some kind of 'lifestyle change' is important - like going to karate practice every Tuesday night instead of sitting at home watching TV and shovelling popcorn into my mouth.

But in addition to actually 'doing something about it' I would like to get closer to my 'sexy ideal' without actually having to do ANYTHING ABOUT IT ALL.

And thank God we're in America, where you can do that (if you have enough money.)

So first off, in my 2008 'Operation Sexy' regime is to start taking pills. Supplements to help me lose weight and 'get sexy.'

This is America, guys. The answer to all your medical issues lies in a packet of pills.

In actual fact, let's not get so cynical. I have gone to the Pharmacist with twenty dollars and picked up what look like credible (although possibly negligible) supplements to help me 'get sexy' in 2008.

The first is St. John's Wort.

Hypericum perforatum, which is Latin name for this European flower, is prescribed as a natural remedy for depression. The Cochrane Review suggested that this simple herb, available from most drug stores, can actually be as effective in treating depression as some prescription-only medications.

That's not why I'm taking it, however. One of the other side-effects of taking St John's Wort is the curbing of certain addictive tendencies - in my case, that would be food and alcohol consumption. One of the active ingredients in St John's Wort, hyperforin, is clinically proven to reduce alcohol intake.

Now this is great - not because I'm an alcoholic, but because I do enjoy a good drink now and again and that's where a large proportion of my daily calories come from.

So hopefully a daily regimen of St John's Wort will help me desire beer and wine less (which will help me slim down even more!)

Second on my list is Zinc.

Zinc is a pretty modest little element, but it's necessary for sustaining all life on earth. It's been clinically proven that an increase in Zinc consumption can help steer off the symptoms of flu and help strength your immune system. Also, it sounds cool.

Third, I have the randy sounding Horny Goat Weed.

Actually called Epimedium grandiflorum, Horny Goat weed has a reputation as 'nature's aphrodisiac.' And with good reason. Aside from the clinically proven fact that it helps boost the body's natural production of testosterone, a overabundance of Horny Goat Weed has an effect rather similar to that of Viagra.

I kid you not. Sildenafil, which is the active ingredient in Viagra, works by blocking the degrading action of phosphodiesterase type 5 on cyclic GMP in your body... Basically, it stops you loosing your erection once you have it. Horny Goat Weed, if consumed in a large enough quantity (about fifteen times the recommended dose) would have the same effect and help sustain an erection.

This is how the substance got it's name. The male goats, grazing on the 'goat week' used to get massive erections and plunder the female goats after a stomach full of this humble weed.

Now I don't need Viagra quite yet, but I am interested in the claims that Horny Goat Weed can increase the body's natural production of testosterone, since that would help my body build muscle and burn calorie, all in the aim of slimming down to my 'fighting weight'.

And last, but not least, there's good old fashioned caffeine.

It's not very healthy, but one of the oldest and most trusted methods of effortless weight-loss involves consuming something that gets the ol' ticker pounding. Cocaine and amphetamines were actually prescribed by doctors back in the fifties - Rat Pack member Peter Lawford once lost a whopping amount of weight on amphetamines when he needed to slim down to film 'Seargent's Three.'

Now I'm not a big advocate of cocaine, amphetamines or anything else illegal - but I do know that a couple of caffeine pills can put a 'zing' in my step and have helped me lose weight in the past. So a couple of 200mg pills every morning, with my other supplements, will hopefully get my body up to top-gear for the rest of the day. I don't recommend any more than that (and it's only the equivalent of two cups of coffee) but when you're pushing thirty, you need all the help you can get.

So that's my weight-loss regimen. None of it's dangerous - although it might all be totally ineffective. One thing's for sure, though. Since I could pick all this up and still have change from $20 - I'm a lot happier than with those $60 'weight loss' formulas you see in shops that offer no more potential for weight loss than I've written about here.